Day #35 – Don’t Let Go of the Handle Bars, Get Off the Bike

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business coaching, choosing the right activities, don't be mediocre, executive coaching, executive coaching for teaching compassion, focus on your strengths, how not to fail, how to become an expert, how to increase productivity, How to Succeed, Mary Lee Gannon, Overcoming Adversity, overcoming challenges, Pittsburgh

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #35 – Don’t Let Go of the Handle Bars, Get Off the Bike

When I was young I was never the most coordinated kid in the neighborhood. My friends could skip two ropes at a time, do splits, ride a bike with no hands, and touch their palms to the ground when I couldn’t even touch my toes. That was ok with me because I was a fast swimmer – an activity that required discipline, endurance and strength all of which I could build with practice. No matter how many times I tried to touch my toes I never got better at it. But if I practiced swimming, I improved. I chose the stroke nobody wanted to do because I stood a better chance of winning. I was eventually voted captain of the team and a leader at butterfly.

The truth is that some of my friends on the swim team never really improved at the pace of others no matter how much they practiced the strokes. This was hard for many of their parents to realize. For some kids it was more rewarding to practice the agility activities of gymnastics, cheerleading, and dancing. For others it was more gratifying to excel at debate, chess or analytical problem solving.

The lesson in all of this is to focus on your strengths and chose activities where you can play to your strengths. If you are going to take risks, take them in an area where you are already a star. What’s the worst that can happen? You fail? Failure holds lessons. Fail early and start something new by applying your strengths with what you have learned. Why work on the things at which you can only achieve mediocrity? If you get better at them you will only be a little better than mediocre. If you focus on things at which you truly excel, you will lead and shine.

If you can’t become an expert at what you are doing, switch to something at which you can apply your strengths. If you don’t know what your strengths are, start by making a list of all the things you enjoyed as a child. Then add what you would do if you had four hours to yourself and how you dealt with the most difficult challenge in your life.

So don’t let go of the handle bars if you are not a strong cycler. Get off the bike and onto something better. Start now!

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day #19 – Feature Presentation Staring You!

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business coaching, executive coaching, how not to be afraid, How to Build Confidence, leadership, Mary Lee Gannon, overcoming anxiety, overcoming challenges, overcoming disappointment, overcoming fear, overcoming stress, starting over now

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #19 – Feature Presentation Staring You!

This is an exercise that will build confidence and bring about the feeling of success.

“You’re the Star” Exercise:

Today you are going to a virtual movie where you are the star. Outside the box office are posters of you with your name in lights on the marquis. Get comfortable in your seat. This feature presentation highlights you three years from now in a leading role as the success that you know you will be. It may not be clear exactly what you are doing but notice every detail about yourself in this film – the expression on your face, the light in your eyes, your posture, the way you speak to people, the clothes you wear, how you describe what it is like to be where you are. Enjoy the peace and fulfillment you emulate in this role. Now float out of your seat and into the successful you on the screen. Experience the world in this future self. See through your eyes. Hear through your ears. Feel what it is like to live fulfilled. What are you saying? What does it smell like there? Make what you see brighter. Make what you hear louder. Make what you feel more intense. Notice where this overall feeling of joy rests in your body. Now float back to your seat with that feeling. Revel in it for a few minutes.

There are certainly times in life when you doubt yourself, are fearful, anxious or feel a general sense of ineffectiveness. At these times bad memoires or negative images come alive in your mind with the vividness of Technicolor. Counter those by pulling out the “You’re the Star” exercise and re-run it in the DVD of your mind. Allow yourself to experience all the sensations of success. You are the star!

Get Mary Lee’s articles “Feel the Fear – How to Build Self Confidence” and “Anxiety is Practicing Failure in Advance – Eliminate It!” on her website Articles and Tip Sheets page.

Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Fundraising Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Don’t Blow Your Cool – Make Better Decisions in Real Time

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5 year plan, building compassion, character leadership, don’t blow you cool, eliminating oppositions, executive coaching, executive coaching for difficult situations, executive coaching for teaching compassion, Goal setting, how to get what you want, how to make better decisions in real time, lead by example, Mary Lee Gannon, Overcoming Adversity, overcoming challenges, starting over, Starting Over No, strategic planning

Leaders transform vision into reality by rallying their team around more than just a well articulated idea – by truly engaging them in the strategy to get there. Execution of the strategy is where most leaders and businesses fail because the variables that affect strategy are not static but dynamic – constantly fluctuating: barriers to entry, competition, personalities, scarcity of resources and more.

Many things are outside of a leader’s control. Markets and the economy oscillate. Lending access varies. Customer perception and loyalty are influenced by social media. Staff members come and go as the average employee only stays with a company roughly 4 years these days.

If you as the leader cannot adjust your vision and your strategy in a dynamic synergy with the flux of your team, stakeholders, the market, and a global economy you are not poised to realize your goals. Someone else will beat you on this measure. You can’t be stuck. You can’t explode in front of people. You have to easily adjust to challenges in real time.

My clients who are effective leaders are bound by a moral code of ethics whereby they apply character, strengths, skill, and values to advance their mission by engaging their team. They are able to change their behavior and sustain the change to affect outcomes because they have prepared ahead of time to know how to execute under fire.

You wouldn’t wait until a ski lift takes you to the highest mountain in the resort to learn to ski. You need to know, already, who you are and what you believe: not what your colleagues believe or the company believes or your friends believe, but what you believe.

Leaders identify their strengths and build a barracks of skills so that they may respond effectively at a meeting, to a client, or to a dissatisfied customer with the finesse of a consummate and valued professional. If you need specific skills you don’t have, get them. Think through character issues – morality, honor, ethics – ahead of time so that you have the strength to address challenges head on with a steadfastness of nature that reinforces a productive and fulfilled culture of employees.

How to Make Better Decisions in Real Time

1. Make a list of needed skills. Write down all of the skills that you need to elevate you to the level you want to be. Not just to fulfill your current role.

2. Write down one thing you can do to build each skill. If you need better knowledge in a particular industry, ask colleagues to recommend a course or mentor for you. If you need a better image, spend time analyzing colleagues in similar roles or industries or talk with an image consultant.

3. Make a list of five of your biggest strengths. People who have not matched their character and professional strengths with their life’s work continue to feel unsettled and under-fulfilled. They may make erratic decisions or operate inconsistently with an impersonal persona. This article can help you define your strengths. http://www.startingovernow.com/Articles/Strengths-Free_Tools_to_Help_You_Define_Your_Strengths.html

4. Keep your list of strengths in your desk as a reference. When you are faced with a difficult decision, approach the issue from the perspective of each of your strengths. If you can’t decide whether or not to invest in a marketing plan, address it from your already defined strength of “resourcefulness,” and your strengths of “compassion” and “practicality.” Most importantly, which of your strengths will help you in a difficult situation so as to not lose your “cool?”

5. In an eruptive real time situation, draw on your strength. Whenever you feel threatened or that you may react in a way that is not in alignment with your values, remove yourself from the situation so that you may draw on your best strength to deal with it. Tell the person or team that you will get back to them with an answer once you have had time to process it. If you are not able to leave the room, draw on the strength that you have already defined that best equips you to deal under fire.

Lead by example. You establish your corporate culture and empower your team by having the confidence to know who you are, what you believe in and what it is you need to learn. Others will want to learn if they see that it is OK to not have all the answers all of the time. What is it that you need to learn? Start now!

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Get Mary Lee’s free tip sheets on “Strengths – Free Tools to Help You Define Your Strengths” and “How to Turn Thought Into Habit for Your Team” at http://www.startingovernow.com/Articles-and-Tip-Sheets.html.
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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – a full service executive coaching, training and consulting firm that provides turnaround strategies for people and organizations by improving team performance, executive leadership skills, board performance, planning and project execution. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked out of that to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores, on Amazon or on her web site. Email Mary Lee at marylee@startingovernow.com or visit her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Be Yourself, Everybody Else is Already Taken – (How to Get What You Want)

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building compassion, career advice expert, Career Change, compay cultural turnaround, corporate accountability, corporate leadership, corporate values, Cultural change, eliminating oppositions, executive coaching, executive coaching for difficult situations, executive coaching for teaching compassion, how to get unstuck, how to get what you want, how to increase productivity, Mary Lee Gannon, overcoming challenges, starting over, starting over now

One can only imagine how genuine these words felt to Oscar Wilde when he penned the expression, “Be Yourself, Everybody Else is Already Taken.” I wasn’t even sure myself until I stumbled upon the quote, was moved by its honest humor and researched the Irish writer’s background to understand what he meant. Wilde was an intelligent, once privileged and highly educated playwright who suffered greatly for opinions and choices that were outside of London society, eventually leading to his imprisonment, poverty and an early death.

No one strives to live a life in exile. Adversity comes at us every day in rapid fire as we dodge and take shelter from its surge. How we handle adversity evolves in many forms. We start by avoiding with denial. Then we survive just to get by often burying ourselves in long hours, rejection, backstabbing or drudgery. We cope sometimes with useful mechanisms such as exercise and communication and sometimes with the negative influences of the vices. We manage by setting goals to be productive but still are void of satisfaction. And eventually, we hope to achieve the ability to elevate ourselves to true contentment and do the same for others. But how we get there remains the dilemma that can keep us imprisoned from all that we desire – peace and fulfillment.

The formula for this is very simple: First, you want to identify what is the thing that if accomplished would bring you the most fulfillment in life. Second, you want to eliminate the single biggest thing that stands in its way. This isn’t as easy. The challenge of eliminating your greatest oppositions has been at the root of self-help books and therapists’ work for centuries.

How to Get What You Want

1. Make an “Area of Importance List.” Write down every area of your life that is important to you. This may include friends, sports, achievement, community service, work, family, etc.

2. Set two or more “Targets” for each Area of Importance. Identify two to three things you’d like to accomplish for each of the areas identified.

3. Identify the “Barriers” for each Target. Barriers could be a feeling or a tangible obstructer ie: don’t have the confidence or don’t have the needed education. Spend thoughtful time on this list as this is what is keeping you from what you want.

4. For each Area of Importance, select the one “Key Barrier.” Which area, if addressed has the greatest potential of helping you the most to reach fulfillment?

5. Prioritize what “Key Target” (from #2) is most important to your fulfillment. This is the one thing that were it to occur, you’d never again feel as if you were out of alignment with yourself or what you want.

6. Prioritize what “Key Barrier” is keeping you from your “Key Target.” This one barrier is so vast and so overwhelming that just the thought of it lapses you back into a state where you can’t even imagine fulfillment coming to life. This barrier obstructs your vision of a life of peace and harmony with yourself and all that is around you.

7. “Clear the Key Barrier.” This is the most difficult part of the exercise. This barrier has been part of you for so long that you are comfortable having it around even though you know it hinders your happiness. You don’t know how to let it go because you are not sure what to replace it with nor are you comfortable with the sustainability of replacing it with anything.

In my years of executive coaching I have seen these barriers effect corporate culture, team synergy, productivity and personal happiness for dozens of very well educated and accomplished professionals. What I will tell you is that the people who are able to win the battle with their “Key Barrier” and get it out of the way do it with two key strategies: 1) They become curious about the “Key Barrier” and 2) They become compassionate to it.

They understand that this “Key Barrier” is part of them and will likely re-surface intermittently for the rest of their lives. They accept that. They recognize when the “Key Barrier” is rearing its head earlier in various scenarios than they used to. And they know what to do with it.

From a curious perspective, they ask themselves what is going on in their body and their emotions when they start to notice the “Key Barrier.” What is that barrier trying to protect you from? Ask it. Why is it showing up now? What is the worst that could happen? What would happen if it were to take a back seat for today?

From a compassionate perspective, they embrace that the barrier is trying to protect them from something – harm?, hurt?, pain?, loss?, disappointment? They notice how they feel about the part of them that is only trying to protect them. It helps them to suffer less resistance to it – be less shut down. They want to nurture it and assure it that the worst that could happen is not likely. They invite it to experience joy.

Be curious and compassionate about your “Key Barriers.” They’re part of you. This way you will get back to being yourself. After all, everybody else is already taken. Start now!

Sign up for Mary Lee’s free Executive Coaching e-newsletter at info@startingovernow.com.

Get Mary Lee’s free tip sheets on “Get ‘Unstuck!’” and “Change – Here’s How!” at http://www.startingovernow.com/Articles-and-Tip-Sheets.html.

Email this information to a friend. Follow Mary Lee’s tips on Twitter at StartingOverNow.

Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – a full service executive coaching, training and consulting firm that provides turnaround strategies for people and organizations by improving team performance, executive leadership skills, board performance, planning and project execution. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked out of that to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores, on Amazon or on her web site. Visit Mary Lee’s website at www.StartingOverNow.com or Email Mary Lee at marylee@startingovernow.com.