Day # 40 – A September 11th Message – Love vs Evil

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forgiveness, grief, life after divorce, life transition coaching, loss, Mary Lee Gannon, Overcoming Adversity, overcoming hatred, Pittsburgh, September 11th, starting over, the power of good over evil, Why good prevails over evil

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #40 – A September 11th Message – Love vs Evil in Your Life

On this 10 year anniversary of the single broadest demonstration of evil in this millennium, I extend to you the notion that love always has and always will prevail. On a bright sunny morning in the eastern United States three regions were indelibly touched by the dark hand of iniquity on September 11th, 2001. Precious lives were lost. Families were broken apart. And fear and anger held a nation hostage.

We mourned. We bought flags. We sang patriotic songs typically reserved for national holidays. We found comfort in faith. And we saluted the men and women of our country that paid the ultimate sacrifice in trying to save the innocent people who were randomly executed that day.

Ten years later – what do you remember? Is it the names of those who carried out this atrocity? Do you remember what they look like? Do you remember their families? Or do you remember the indelible images of first responders with shock on their faces rushing into the buildings wearing heavy gear and oxygen tanks hoping to make a difference. Or the faces of family members whose loved ones would not abandon a fallen colleague in a stairwell. Or civilian air passengers who risked everything to save a destruction of the leadership of this nation.

Evil is simple. It is on the surface, has no rules or boundaries and takes no prisoners. Everything is justifiable. The problem is – it is never satisfied. Love is simpler for in it comes peace. It permeates the shallow façade of what the weak value and envelopes the soul in an embrace so strong its steadfastness denies entry to interlopers. Wickedness can only knock on its door of inclusion and warmth and service to others. Evil offers no reward.

Peace to you this September 11th. And peace to those you love and care about. May the remembrance of September 11th inspire you to demonstrate an act of love and kindness today. And may it bring you peace.

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of StartingOverNow.com and Gannon Group – a full service coaching and consulting firm that creates productivity solutions for people and organizations who are “stuck” in transition. Individual clients are addressing: Life transition, Divorce, Life Purpose, Five & Ten Year Plans, Career Change, Relationship Shift, Loss, Empty Nest, and Work Life Balance. Corporate client services include: Strategic Planning, Public Relations – Brand Positioning, Cultural Accountability, Meeting Facilitation, Vision Creation, Strategy Execution, Stress and Time Management, and Negotiations. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day #38 – Separate the Person from the Mistake

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divorce challenges, executive coaching, life transition, life transition coaching, Mary Lee Gannon, Overcoming Adversity, separate the man from the mistake, starting over, Starting Over - 25 Rules When You've Bottomed Out, starting over after divorce, starting over now, startingovernow.com

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #38 – Separate the Person from the Mistake

Let’s start with a story. Elizabeth is a loving and kind person who has become guarded when it comes to love relationships. Her marriage was riddled with emotional neglect and hurt that left her feeling isolated and alone. She very much wants to be in a loving relationship but is conscious of the barrier she has built around her heart. She has dated several men since the divorce and has found that when she opened the tenderness of her heart, it was again singed with pain. As time has gone on she has noticed that she meets nice men but ultimately finds reasons why they are not right for her, leaving her feeling as if she will never find a fulfilling relationship – a terribly dismal place to exist.

Elizabeth’s story of a woman seeking love can be translated into many different scenarios: men seeking love; girls seeking friends, office mates seeking alignment from colleagues; neighbors seeking friendships; business people trying to sell a product. The problem boils down to the fact that we build barriers around our sensitivity in order to protect us from the pain of feeling abandoned. The problem with this is that we end up shutting off our valve of sensitivity to other people and aspects of our lives. Ultimately the more comfortable we become with pushing people away, the more we do it which takes us even farther away from our ultimate goal of finding intimacy, better friendships, better consensus from our colleagues, or more business.

If you are determined to open your heart or break down barriers of the past and you are skeptical about a new person in your life, be sure to evaluate whether you are dealing with a problem with the person or a mistake they have made. Make sure to separate the person from the mistake. Most people are coachable. If this is a personal relationship and they care about you they will want to hear your perspective and adjust their behavior to accommodate you. In this instance, don’t envision the mistake as a character flaw in the person (unless the mistake is egregious enough that it is part of their character). If they don’t care about you, they will not be compromising. In this instance the problem could be the person. Hear what they are saying and adjust your own behavior in a more fulfilling direction.

At work if you are having difficulty with a colleague and you demonstrate compassion to their needs and find that they are willing to work together for a common goal then to do so will fulfill you. The difficulty may have just been a misunderstanding or a mistake. If they demonstrate that they are not willing to work with you, then working with them may continue to be a challenge. The problem may be the person. Detach from them emotionally and do not expect to win their favor. Your goal is to work with them to meet both of your objectives. They don’t need to be your friend.

Early after Elizabeth’s divorce she may have been opening her heart too easily to people which is understandable since divorce leaves people feeling rejected and in need of affirmation. Then she built up a protective wall and is having difficulty trusting her feelings because she isn’t sure how to separate a man’s character from a mistake or a misunderstanding. Separate the person form the mistake. Ask yourself which is the issue. Start now!

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day #36: Don’t Get Lost in “Or So It Seemed…”

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accpeting reality, business coaching, Dont get lost in the past, executive coaching, get unstuck, how to forget the past, life transition coaching, Mary Lee Gannon, moving on, Overcoming Adversity, overcoming bad memories, Pittsburgh, Starting Over - 25 Rules When You've Bottomed Out

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #36 – Don’t Get Lost in “Or so it seemed…”

Do you find that sometimes you get lost in memories of the past? Those memories are so rewardingly vivid that you long to have them back in real time. You can feel the tranquility or the continuity of a “better” era. And the present seems to pale in comparison to it. Of course it does. It always will – because you are focused on comparing your perception of history to today.

Your past experiences are what molds your character and forms your personality. The challenges and the good fortune that have come your way both tangibly and intangibly try your patience and test your values. How you deal with joy and pain is what shapes who you become.

In my experience having coached a number of people experiencing life transition, unless someone is grieving the loss of a loved one, most of the time getting stuck on the past is due to a skewed vision of what was really going on.

Four Question Reality Check About the Past:

1.) What about this memory do I truly miss? Is it the person? Or is it the perception of how I saw that person at the time. Is it that I was living my dream? Or was the vision of my dream what I was focused on perhaps at the exclusion of reality?

2.) What one thing was I able to contribute to my fulfillment then that I still have to contribute now. Are you able to laugh at yourself? Do you have an open heart? Do you have incredible passion for the things you love? Are you able to motivate yourself and others to take action?

3.) What is the one pearl of wisdom you would share with others about what you have learned? Write it down. Post this where you will see it every day to remind yourself how far you have come and how you want to live today and tomorrow.

4.) Five years from now, where do you want to be? This is where your dreams and joy coincide. Not in mourning a loss of the past. Many things about the past may have been fulfilling. But there is nothing there but wisdom that will bring you fulfillment for today and tomorrow.

You can’t create new dreams while you are mourning lost dreams of the past. Embrace them. Learn from them. And plan how you will apply what you have learned from them to create your dream for today. Start now!

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Fundraising Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day #35 – Don’t Let Go of the Handle Bars, Get Off the Bike

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business coaching, choosing the right activities, don't be mediocre, executive coaching, executive coaching for teaching compassion, focus on your strengths, how not to fail, how to become an expert, how to increase productivity, How to Succeed, Mary Lee Gannon, Overcoming Adversity, overcoming challenges, Pittsburgh

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #35 – Don’t Let Go of the Handle Bars, Get Off the Bike

When I was young I was never the most coordinated kid in the neighborhood. My friends could skip two ropes at a time, do splits, ride a bike with no hands, and touch their palms to the ground when I couldn’t even touch my toes. That was ok with me because I was a fast swimmer – an activity that required discipline, endurance and strength all of which I could build with practice. No matter how many times I tried to touch my toes I never got better at it. But if I practiced swimming, I improved. I chose the stroke nobody wanted to do because I stood a better chance of winning. I was eventually voted captain of the team and a leader at butterfly.

The truth is that some of my friends on the swim team never really improved at the pace of others no matter how much they practiced the strokes. This was hard for many of their parents to realize. For some kids it was more rewarding to practice the agility activities of gymnastics, cheerleading, and dancing. For others it was more gratifying to excel at debate, chess or analytical problem solving.

The lesson in all of this is to focus on your strengths and chose activities where you can play to your strengths. If you are going to take risks, take them in an area where you are already a star. What’s the worst that can happen? You fail? Failure holds lessons. Fail early and start something new by applying your strengths with what you have learned. Why work on the things at which you can only achieve mediocrity? If you get better at them you will only be a little better than mediocre. If you focus on things at which you truly excel, you will lead and shine.

If you can’t become an expert at what you are doing, switch to something at which you can apply your strengths. If you don’t know what your strengths are, start by making a list of all the things you enjoyed as a child. Then add what you would do if you had four hours to yourself and how you dealt with the most difficult challenge in your life.

So don’t let go of the handle bars if you are not a strong cycler. Get off the bike and onto something better. Start now!

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day #34 – Don’t Say What You Don’t Want

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acquiring good luck, being positive, business coaching, executive coaching, Gannon Group, getting what you want, law of attraction, Mary Lee Gannon, Overcoming Adversity, starting over, starting over now

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #34 – Don’t Say What You Don’t Want

We attract what we think. When we think something often enough we begin to say it as well. Then it becomes inevitable that what we say starts to actually happen. Make sure what you say is what you want. And don’t say what you don’t want.

Think of the last time you complained about something. Did it seem as if what you were complaining about kept showing up? Did you ever hear yourself saying, “Why does this bad stuff always keep happening to me” only to find that your bad luck continued? When you want to lose weight do you find yourself perseverating on being “fat?”

Do you ever hear yourself pointing out negative behavior in a child or a friend? “Your room is a mess.” “You’re making a bad choice again.” “If you don’t work harder you’ll never get anywhere.” They hear, “You’re a mess.” “You have bad judgment.” And “You’re lazy and will end up a looser.”

The next time that you feel as if you are the victim of a negative situation say, “Now it’s time for good things to come my way.” Or when you feel a craving to eat something that has more calories than necessary say to yourself, “I am thin.” And I bet you will pass on the indulgence.

Tell others, “Your bedroom will be beautiful and you’ll find the things you need so easily after it is organized.” “How would you apply your good judgment to tackle this problem?” And “I can see you someday as a leader in business with the skills to get anything done that you wish.”

Say what you want and it will happen. Start now!

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Fundraising Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day #29 Focus on the Harvest in Your Own Pasture

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executive coaching, jealousy, life coaching, life isn't greener on the other side of the fence, Mary Lee Gannon, Overcoming Adversity, overcoming jealousy, Pittsburgh, transformational coaching

365 ways to Start Over: Day #29 Focus on the Harvest in Your Own Pasture

The roots of the grass on the other side of the fence aren’t visible from your view and the gate to get there may not swing both ways. Besides, wooden fences have splinters. Nurture your own crop. You know what goes into your soil. Cultivate your abundance. You drive the plow on your own land. Start now!

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Fundraising Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day #27: Get a Dog

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executive coaching, feeling valued, Mary Lee Gannon, Overcoming Adversity, Pittsburgh, starting over now, the value of a dog, ways to start over, what dogs teach us, why have a dog, why should I get a dog

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #27 – Get a Dog

I know. It sounds crazy. You hardly sleep well as it is and now you should scramble out of bed in the middle of the night, trip down the stairs in the dark and fumble your way to the door just to stand in a rainstorm until your dog goes potty? You barely have enough time to get yourself ready for work in the morning and you should set your alarm 45 minutes early just to feed, train and play with a dog? When you get home after work you barely have enough energy to cook dinner and now you should devote an hour to exercising your dog? WHY?

Because dogs are the most unassuming and purely loving creatures you will ever meet. There is no personal agenda with a dog. What you put into them, you get out of them. If you care for them, train them and exercise them, they will behave and provide you with love and some of the most memorable moments of your life. If you don’t, they will do what they know and that is chew, potty and run – chew your shoes, potty in the house, and run wild.

Caring for something reminds you that you have value and are important. A dog will remind you just how important you are every time he or she sees you. No matter how bad your or their day was when you walk in the door they greet you as if you had a T-bone steak strapped to your chest. They teach you to spend more time having fun since to them everything is a game. Take out the garbage and they want to tug on the bag. Mop the floor and they size up the mop like the enemy, ducking behind cabinets and leaping out like Batman. You will never again have to throw away tennis balls, worn socks or old stuffed animals.

Additionally, retraining yourself in a new routine helps you realize that you can adjust to a new schedule, living beings, and tasks – that you can learn new things, affect change and create bonds. You stop dwelling on what is wrong in your life because you are too busy taking dog training lessons, leash walking your dog and discovering new dog treats you never even knew existed. You are meaningful to a dog, so meaningful that they will never let you forget it or take you for granted. It just isn’t in their makeup to do so.

Together you and your dog will learn how to be considerate of others, go without, never be bored, enjoy, love, be disciplined, modify, appreciate, learn new things, try new things, get in shape, structure your schedule, understand cause and effect, think of others, be healthy. You and your dog will revolutionize the world. Start now!

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Fundraising Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day#1 Life is Cool – Pay Attention!

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attitude, authenticity, executive coaching, fidning joy in life, how to be happy, life is cool, Overcoming Adversity

365 Ways to Start Over: Day#1 Life is Cool – Pay Attention!

Once upon a time I was a lifeguard. Do you remember when life was so perfect that you saw all your friends every day, you had a warm meal cooked for you at a table with every member of your family every night and your only challenge was which piece of candy to buy on the way home from school? Did you realize how cool that was back then?

When I was a teenager and lifeguard at our local pool I was happy to have that job but at the time I didn’t realize how really cool it was. I could have been working retail hours with people I didn’t know. I could have been wearing a uniform that made me look like a hamburger ad. I could have been doing a lot of less productive things but I had the luxury of working in the sun all day guarding the people in my community and eating free food on breaks.

Life is still that great – so great and so short that there are things we will want to appreciate today and remember a decade from now. What went on in your day today that 10 to 20 years from now you will remember as cool? Did someone pay for lunch? Did someone call you to chat just because they value your opinion? Did you wake up in a house full of energy and enthusiasm even if it seemed a little chaotic? And how will you celebrate the marvel of that today!

Life is cool every day. Listen to the silence. Pay attention!

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Get the articles “Emotional Intelleigence” and “Don’t Blow Your Cool” at http://www.startingovernow.com/Articles-and-Tip-Sheets.html.

Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – a full service
executive coaching, training and consulting firm that provides
productivity strategies for people and organizations by improving team
performance, executive leadership skills, board performance, planning
and project execution. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-
at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who
endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked out of that to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Don’t Blow Your Cool – Make Better Decisions in Real Time

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5 year plan, building compassion, character leadership, don’t blow you cool, eliminating oppositions, executive coaching, executive coaching for difficult situations, executive coaching for teaching compassion, Goal setting, how to get what you want, how to make better decisions in real time, lead by example, Mary Lee Gannon, Overcoming Adversity, overcoming challenges, starting over, Starting Over No, strategic planning

Leaders transform vision into reality by rallying their team around more than just a well articulated idea – by truly engaging them in the strategy to get there. Execution of the strategy is where most leaders and businesses fail because the variables that affect strategy are not static but dynamic – constantly fluctuating: barriers to entry, competition, personalities, scarcity of resources and more.

Many things are outside of a leader’s control. Markets and the economy oscillate. Lending access varies. Customer perception and loyalty are influenced by social media. Staff members come and go as the average employee only stays with a company roughly 4 years these days.

If you as the leader cannot adjust your vision and your strategy in a dynamic synergy with the flux of your team, stakeholders, the market, and a global economy you are not poised to realize your goals. Someone else will beat you on this measure. You can’t be stuck. You can’t explode in front of people. You have to easily adjust to challenges in real time.

My clients who are effective leaders are bound by a moral code of ethics whereby they apply character, strengths, skill, and values to advance their mission by engaging their team. They are able to change their behavior and sustain the change to affect outcomes because they have prepared ahead of time to know how to execute under fire.

You wouldn’t wait until a ski lift takes you to the highest mountain in the resort to learn to ski. You need to know, already, who you are and what you believe: not what your colleagues believe or the company believes or your friends believe, but what you believe.

Leaders identify their strengths and build a barracks of skills so that they may respond effectively at a meeting, to a client, or to a dissatisfied customer with the finesse of a consummate and valued professional. If you need specific skills you don’t have, get them. Think through character issues – morality, honor, ethics – ahead of time so that you have the strength to address challenges head on with a steadfastness of nature that reinforces a productive and fulfilled culture of employees.

How to Make Better Decisions in Real Time

1. Make a list of needed skills. Write down all of the skills that you need to elevate you to the level you want to be. Not just to fulfill your current role.

2. Write down one thing you can do to build each skill. If you need better knowledge in a particular industry, ask colleagues to recommend a course or mentor for you. If you need a better image, spend time analyzing colleagues in similar roles or industries or talk with an image consultant.

3. Make a list of five of your biggest strengths. People who have not matched their character and professional strengths with their life’s work continue to feel unsettled and under-fulfilled. They may make erratic decisions or operate inconsistently with an impersonal persona. This article can help you define your strengths. http://www.startingovernow.com/Articles/Strengths-Free_Tools_to_Help_You_Define_Your_Strengths.html

4. Keep your list of strengths in your desk as a reference. When you are faced with a difficult decision, approach the issue from the perspective of each of your strengths. If you can’t decide whether or not to invest in a marketing plan, address it from your already defined strength of “resourcefulness,” and your strengths of “compassion” and “practicality.” Most importantly, which of your strengths will help you in a difficult situation so as to not lose your “cool?”

5. In an eruptive real time situation, draw on your strength. Whenever you feel threatened or that you may react in a way that is not in alignment with your values, remove yourself from the situation so that you may draw on your best strength to deal with it. Tell the person or team that you will get back to them with an answer once you have had time to process it. If you are not able to leave the room, draw on the strength that you have already defined that best equips you to deal under fire.

Lead by example. You establish your corporate culture and empower your team by having the confidence to know who you are, what you believe in and what it is you need to learn. Others will want to learn if they see that it is OK to not have all the answers all of the time. What is it that you need to learn? Start now!

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – a full service executive coaching, training and consulting firm that provides turnaround strategies for people and organizations by improving team performance, executive leadership skills, board performance, planning and project execution. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked out of that to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores, on Amazon or on her web site. Email Mary Lee at marylee@startingovernow.com or visit her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

The Right Rescue Dog for Me – A Lesson in Overcoming Disappointment

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accpetance of disappointment. the right dog, animal rescue dog, disappointment in not getting a dog, Overcoming Adversity, overcoming disappointment, picking the right dog, the right rescue dog, the right rescue dog for me

Last night my Shih-tzu and I went for the second night in a row to an animal shelter to visit with a very sweet Irish Setter Collie mix. We waited 45 minutes to visit with this beauty the night before and the shelter was ready to close when we got our turn. So after a brief visit, I was asked to bring Coco back for another visit the next night because there wasn’t time to process an adoption anyway. But, my heart was already captured by this charmer with one blue and one brown eye. She was great on the lead and not at all dominant with Coco. After just a few minutes I knew this dog was for us and the handlers felt so as well. When we left, I went like a new parent to the store and proudly purchased nearly $100 worth of toys, food and bowls in anticipation of her homecoming the next night.

Then last night when we got there for our second visit, her regal stance along with her striking red coat and white face charmed me all over again. As I had uttered the words, “Let’s do the paperwork,” I was struck with the fact that through some miscommunication I would not be able to take her because my son who lives in the home was not with me. I had explained the night before that he was trying out for sports and would not be able to come after work with me for that reason. Besides he was 17-years-old and knew about dogs, especially since we have one. I could have lied and told them I lived alone but my honesty ended up costing me the dog. They wouldn’t hold her even for me to go home and pull my son from a try-out which I couldn’t do to him anyway. Someone else was in line to see her and in an instant my dreams of rescuing this gorgeous dog were fading into someone else’s reality. I was disappointed. I was angry. I was hurt. I was unforgiving. I was intolerant. I was distraught. I left there knowing that I would never again return to that shelter.

Yes, I cried, but only until I got home and gathered all of the doggie purchases for their return. And then I did what I always do when met with disappointment outside of my control – I accepted that it was not meant to be. I began to pay attention as the reasons why became as vivid as my dream. That night when I opened the back door to let Coco out to go to potty in 5 inches of snow in 29-degree darkness I didn’t have to put a leash on a 56-pound dog and take it for a walk. The next morning in the deafening silence of a 15-degree morning as I opened the kitchen door in bare feet to let Coco out for her thirty-five-second tinkle I did not have to dress with boots to do some morning housebreaking training. I didn’t have to get up early. I didn’t have to come home at lunch-time from work to let a dog out. And I didn’t have to throw away any chewed shoes or socks.

Sure, I’d have done all of these things willingly if the situation were right. But I accept that it wasn’t. And another dog is meant for me somewhere. I can wait. I am patient. Situations like this teach us about adversity, acceptance and faith. The right dog will come. And I will be ready because it will be the right dog for me.

Mary Lee Gannon is a cultural turnaround and leadership expert who went from being a stay-at-home mother with four children living in an unpalatable marriage behind the facade of a country club life to the reality of divorce, homelessness, and welfare. As a national guest speaker she demonstrates turn-around strategies that transform corporate cultures and took her from an earning capacity of $27,000 to the president and CEO of a hospital foundation. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores and on http://www.Amazon.com.

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For the FREE Worksheets: “Change – Here’s How!” and “Overcoming Adversity is an Every Day Slice of Life?” go to Mary Lee’s web site at: http://www.startingovernow.com/WorksheetsandArticles.html