Day #42 – 10 Ways to Give Thanks

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executive coaching, forgiveness, gratitude jounral, life transition coaching, Mary Lee Gannon, starting over, Starting Over - 25 Rules When You've Bottomed Out, starting over after divorce, starting over again, Thanksgiving activities, ways to give thanks

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #42 – 10 Ways to Give Thanks
Life presents so many reminders of what we may appreciate. But often these cues are lost in the “get” messages from our culture: “get more,” “get thin,” “get happy,” “get in shape,” “get new (you name it).” Consider the suggestions below as a way to slow yourself down to realize how much you have to appreciate.

10 Ways to Give Thanks:

1.) Write a gratitude letter to a mentor, family member, or someone important whom you have not properly thanked.

2.) Keep a Gratitude Journal with a list of things for which you are thankful.

3.) Keep a Gratitude Box where you collect cards, letters and other keepsakes you collect throughout the year from people you appreciate.

4.) Create a Family Journal that is brought out at every Thanksgiving dinner whereby each family member writes what they are thankful for.

5.) Put every family member’s name in a hat at the Thanksgiving table. Each person pulls a name and gives a specific reason why they are thankful for that person.

6.) Do something special for a homeless shelter, battered women’s shelter, convalescent home or other charity and include a special note as to why you care about them.

7.) Gather toys, clothes, and home furnishings to take to the Goodwill, Salvation Army, or thrift store.

8.) Drop a handwritten note of thanks to your coworkers.

9.) Take the time to chat with a veteran about his or her experience.

10.) Cook a meal or deliver baked goods to your local fire department or police department for Thanksgiving.

May today there be peace within you today. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

Let go of what holds you back. Embrace what propels you forward. And do one new thing today. Start now!

Visit Mary Lee’s web site with more free information on meetings and leadership at www.startingovernow.com.

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of StartingOverNow.com and Gannon Group – a full service coaching and consulting firm that creates productivity solutions for people and organizations who are “stuck” in transition. Individual clients are addressing: Life transition, Divorce, Life Purpose, Five & Ten Year Plans, Career Change, Relationship Shift, Loss, Empty Nest, and Work Life Balance. Corporate client services include: Strategic Planning, Public Relations – Brand Positioning, Cultural Accountability, Meeting Facilitation, Vision Creation, Strategy Execution, Stress and Time Management, and Negotiations. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day # 40 – A September 11th Message – Love vs Evil

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forgiveness, grief, life after divorce, life transition coaching, loss, Mary Lee Gannon, Overcoming Adversity, overcoming hatred, Pittsburgh, September 11th, starting over, the power of good over evil, Why good prevails over evil

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #40 – A September 11th Message – Love vs Evil in Your Life

On this 10 year anniversary of the single broadest demonstration of evil in this millennium, I extend to you the notion that love always has and always will prevail. On a bright sunny morning in the eastern United States three regions were indelibly touched by the dark hand of iniquity on September 11th, 2001. Precious lives were lost. Families were broken apart. And fear and anger held a nation hostage.

We mourned. We bought flags. We sang patriotic songs typically reserved for national holidays. We found comfort in faith. And we saluted the men and women of our country that paid the ultimate sacrifice in trying to save the innocent people who were randomly executed that day.

Ten years later – what do you remember? Is it the names of those who carried out this atrocity? Do you remember what they look like? Do you remember their families? Or do you remember the indelible images of first responders with shock on their faces rushing into the buildings wearing heavy gear and oxygen tanks hoping to make a difference. Or the faces of family members whose loved ones would not abandon a fallen colleague in a stairwell. Or civilian air passengers who risked everything to save a destruction of the leadership of this nation.

Evil is simple. It is on the surface, has no rules or boundaries and takes no prisoners. Everything is justifiable. The problem is – it is never satisfied. Love is simpler for in it comes peace. It permeates the shallow façade of what the weak value and envelopes the soul in an embrace so strong its steadfastness denies entry to interlopers. Wickedness can only knock on its door of inclusion and warmth and service to others. Evil offers no reward.

Peace to you this September 11th. And peace to those you love and care about. May the remembrance of September 11th inspire you to demonstrate an act of love and kindness today. And may it bring you peace.

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Follow Mary Lee Gannon on Facebook or on Twitter.

Mary Lee Gannon is the president of StartingOverNow.com and Gannon Group – a full service coaching and consulting firm that creates productivity solutions for people and organizations who are “stuck” in transition. Individual clients are addressing: Life transition, Divorce, Life Purpose, Five & Ten Year Plans, Career Change, Relationship Shift, Loss, Empty Nest, and Work Life Balance. Corporate client services include: Strategic Planning, Public Relations – Brand Positioning, Cultural Accountability, Meeting Facilitation, Vision Creation, Strategy Execution, Stress and Time Management, and Negotiations. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day #39 – Listen to the Silence

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365 Ways to Start Over, business coaching, executive coaching, finding peace, life transition coaching, listen to the silence, Mary Lee Gannon, overcoming anxiety, Pittsburgh, starting over, work life balance coaching

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #39 – Listen to the Silence

Every day is full of noise. You have external noise – the chatter of people, traffic, planes trains, music, animals, industry. And you have internal noise – your own headtrash telling you to worry, feel guilty, get busy, relax, exercise, volunteer, forgive, forget, get more, let go.

When do you actually sit alone in a place without any visual or auditory distractions and calm your mind enough to hear nothing but silence? It’s difficult to do. Try it – for 15 minutes. Then listen to what comes your way.

If after you have found a quiet place any internal headtrash invades your peace, sweep it away. Allow only silence and nature to penetrate your mind. Hear what you haven’t heard before? What are you called to? What are the new possibilities? What is the wisdom? Start now!

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Get Mary Lee’s articles Strengths – Free Tools to Help You Define Them and Values – How to Define Them and Live Fulfilled.

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of StartingOverNow.com and Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day #38 – Separate the Person from the Mistake

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divorce challenges, executive coaching, life transition, life transition coaching, Mary Lee Gannon, Overcoming Adversity, separate the man from the mistake, starting over, Starting Over - 25 Rules When You've Bottomed Out, starting over after divorce, starting over now, startingovernow.com

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #38 – Separate the Person from the Mistake

Let’s start with a story. Elizabeth is a loving and kind person who has become guarded when it comes to love relationships. Her marriage was riddled with emotional neglect and hurt that left her feeling isolated and alone. She very much wants to be in a loving relationship but is conscious of the barrier she has built around her heart. She has dated several men since the divorce and has found that when she opened the tenderness of her heart, it was again singed with pain. As time has gone on she has noticed that she meets nice men but ultimately finds reasons why they are not right for her, leaving her feeling as if she will never find a fulfilling relationship – a terribly dismal place to exist.

Elizabeth’s story of a woman seeking love can be translated into many different scenarios: men seeking love; girls seeking friends, office mates seeking alignment from colleagues; neighbors seeking friendships; business people trying to sell a product. The problem boils down to the fact that we build barriers around our sensitivity in order to protect us from the pain of feeling abandoned. The problem with this is that we end up shutting off our valve of sensitivity to other people and aspects of our lives. Ultimately the more comfortable we become with pushing people away, the more we do it which takes us even farther away from our ultimate goal of finding intimacy, better friendships, better consensus from our colleagues, or more business.

If you are determined to open your heart or break down barriers of the past and you are skeptical about a new person in your life, be sure to evaluate whether you are dealing with a problem with the person or a mistake they have made. Make sure to separate the person from the mistake. Most people are coachable. If this is a personal relationship and they care about you they will want to hear your perspective and adjust their behavior to accommodate you. In this instance, don’t envision the mistake as a character flaw in the person (unless the mistake is egregious enough that it is part of their character). If they don’t care about you, they will not be compromising. In this instance the problem could be the person. Hear what they are saying and adjust your own behavior in a more fulfilling direction.

At work if you are having difficulty with a colleague and you demonstrate compassion to their needs and find that they are willing to work together for a common goal then to do so will fulfill you. The difficulty may have just been a misunderstanding or a mistake. If they demonstrate that they are not willing to work with you, then working with them may continue to be a challenge. The problem may be the person. Detach from them emotionally and do not expect to win their favor. Your goal is to work with them to meet both of your objectives. They don’t need to be your friend.

Early after Elizabeth’s divorce she may have been opening her heart too easily to people which is understandable since divorce leaves people feeling rejected and in need of affirmation. Then she built up a protective wall and is having difficulty trusting her feelings because she isn’t sure how to separate a man’s character from a mistake or a misunderstanding. Separate the person form the mistake. Ask yourself which is the issue. Start now!

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Get Mary Lee’s articles Strengths – Free Tools to Help You Define Them and Values – How to Define Them and Live Fulfilled.

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day #36: Don’t Get Lost in “Or So It Seemed…”

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accpeting reality, business coaching, Dont get lost in the past, executive coaching, get unstuck, how to forget the past, life transition coaching, Mary Lee Gannon, moving on, Overcoming Adversity, overcoming bad memories, Pittsburgh, Starting Over - 25 Rules When You've Bottomed Out

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #36 – Don’t Get Lost in “Or so it seemed…”

Do you find that sometimes you get lost in memories of the past? Those memories are so rewardingly vivid that you long to have them back in real time. You can feel the tranquility or the continuity of a “better” era. And the present seems to pale in comparison to it. Of course it does. It always will – because you are focused on comparing your perception of history to today.

Your past experiences are what molds your character and forms your personality. The challenges and the good fortune that have come your way both tangibly and intangibly try your patience and test your values. How you deal with joy and pain is what shapes who you become.

In my experience having coached a number of people experiencing life transition, unless someone is grieving the loss of a loved one, most of the time getting stuck on the past is due to a skewed vision of what was really going on.

Four Question Reality Check About the Past:

1.) What about this memory do I truly miss? Is it the person? Or is it the perception of how I saw that person at the time. Is it that I was living my dream? Or was the vision of my dream what I was focused on perhaps at the exclusion of reality?

2.) What one thing was I able to contribute to my fulfillment then that I still have to contribute now. Are you able to laugh at yourself? Do you have an open heart? Do you have incredible passion for the things you love? Are you able to motivate yourself and others to take action?

3.) What is the one pearl of wisdom you would share with others about what you have learned? Write it down. Post this where you will see it every day to remind yourself how far you have come and how you want to live today and tomorrow.

4.) Five years from now, where do you want to be? This is where your dreams and joy coincide. Not in mourning a loss of the past. Many things about the past may have been fulfilling. But there is nothing there but wisdom that will bring you fulfillment for today and tomorrow.

You can’t create new dreams while you are mourning lost dreams of the past. Embrace them. Learn from them. And plan how you will apply what you have learned from them to create your dream for today. Start now!

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Get Mary Lee’s article Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken.

Follow Mary Lee Gannon on Facebook or on Twitter.

Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Fundraising Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day #24 – 24 Ways to Remind Yourself You Are Special (that aren’t just head exercises)

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business coaching, buy yourself flowers, executive coaching, how to feel better about myself, life transition coaching, Mary Lee Gannon, Remind yourself you are special, starting over, starting over now, ways to love myself, ways to love yourself, work life balance coaching

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #24 – 24 Ways to Remind Yourself You Are Special (that aren’t just head exercises.)

You are the most important person in your life. You may have other people who are close to you or for whom you are responsible but you must nurture yourself before you can nurture others. The greatest capacity to love comes from being able to feel love yourself. You are wonderful! Remind yourself of that with these simple steps.

24 Ways to Remind Yourself You Are Special

1. Buy yourself flowers and put them in your office or home.

2. Stop in the morning and get a cup of really exotic coffee with whipped cream.

3. Drive to your favorite spot in town where you can just sit for hours in peace and think. Bring a notebook in case you get new ideas of things you want to explore.

4. Take you camera to a garden or park and photograph the beauty of nature.

5. Take your camera to a place that is really interesting to you and photograph anything new that you discover: city buildings, people’s faces, shadows, close ups.

6. Select your favorite one or two photographs from your collection and have an 8 x 10 print framed and hung where you will see it everyday.

7. Make an appointment to have something done that you never have – manicure, pedicure, massage, facial, shoe shine, etc.

8. Go to the mall and let a make up artist do your makeup.

9. Get out your best china and crystal and cook yourself a dish that you love. Light a candle.

10. Gather the materials to start a hands on project that you always wanted to do but never made time for: woodworking, decoupage, sewing, scrap booking, home improvement.

11. Sign up for a class in something that intrigues you: guitar, a language, travel locations, yoga, history, a software program.

12. Rent three movies that you love and enjoy them over a weekend. Have popcorn on hand.

13. Start a journal and everyday right down one thing you’ve learned about yourself.

14. Buy yourself the same thing you gave as a hostess gift at the last party you went to.

15. Make an anonymous donation to your favorite charity in your honor.

16. Change just one focal point in your home – a table centerpiece, a wreath on the door, a keepsake in your foyer.

17. Go shopping with a goal of purchasing just one thing – an accessory that is your signature.

18. Order monogrammed stationary.

19. Rearrange your closets, basement, garage or pantry.

20. Think of one thing that you absolutely love and place it where you will see it everyday. If you love birds, hang a bird feeder. If you love dogs, cut out magazine photos of them and put them around your bedroom mirror. If you love humor, get a daily calendar with humorous quotes and put it on your desk.

21. Visit your library and get a book on a topic you know nothing about.

22. Start a collection of what you love.

23. Take an afternoon and visit all of the churches, synagogues and mosques in your area. The architecture alone will amaze you and invite you to think about different perspectives.

24. Take a blank sheet of paper and start drawing pictures of things that remind you of you.

Think of all the ways other people have shown you that you are special. You can do those things for yourself. Think of all the things people have said to you that have made you feel special. Start saying those things to yourself. Start now!

Get Mary Lee’s article Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken.

Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Fundraising Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day #22 – Killer Problem Solving (Great for Meeting Facilitation too)

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executive coaching, facilitating a meeting, good meeting facilitation, how to build consensus, how to deal with strong personalities at a meeting, how to facilitate a meeting with a problem, how to generate solutions to a difficult problem, how to problem solve on a team, how to solve problems, life transition coaching, Mary Lee Gannon, problem solving, starting over now, work life balance

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #22 – Killer Problem Solving (Great for Meeting Facilitation too)

Problem solving is often difficult whether the problem is yours alone or one that requires group consideration. If the problem is personal in nature, you may feel ‘stuck’ in moving forward. In working with groups of people either at work, in volunteer activities or in your own family it may seem impossible to generate fresh ideas or for a group to come to a consensus. Resources may be thin. Strong personalities may weigh with heavy influence. Personal agendas may come into play. Different constituents may have different goals. The following steps will help you to solve any problem whether it needs a group solution or it is a personal issue.

Problem Solving on the Fly

1. Define the problem. Write down exactly what the issue is and gain agreement from all parties. If working with a team, it is imperative that there be buy-in from everyone involved in order to gain the best solution. Is the problem that sales are down? Or is it that production cannot keep up with orders? Are you stuck and can’t make a decision on your life purpose?

2. Establish criteria for evaluating solutions. Do not consider the solution when doing this. Instead think of what will make a solution a good solution? Will it be cost efficient? Will it require low overhead? Ask the question, “The solution should be one that _______ and does not __________.” Ie: The solution should increase sales and not necessarily increase costs – thus a redistribution of resources not spending more. The solution should provide me with fulfillment in mind body and spirit and nothing is too far out to consider.

3. Identify a root cause of the problem. The root cause can most easily be defined by asking ‘Why?’ five times. Why did we miss our goal? Because we didn’t sell enough product? Why not? Because we didn’t have enough opportunities to get in front of our ideal client. Why not? Although we closed a high percentage of the clients we met with, we didn’t acquire enough leads for appointments. Why not? Because our internal sales force did not have enough training nor were they incentivized? Why not? We didn’t develop a program for this strategy.

4. Generate alternative solutions. Ie: 1) We establish a training program with skilled trainers. 2) We invest in better training for our trainers. 3) We establish an incentives program for the internal sales force. 4) We establish a referral program whereby existing customers get a price reduction for every lead that converts to a sale. Or: 1) I will devote 60 minutes everyday to doing something I have never done before. 2) I will schedule coffee meetings with three people this month that have achieved success in an area of interest to me.

5. Evaluate each solution based on the criteria in #2.

6. Select the best solutions.

7. Develop an action plan. The plan should include:1) key stakeholders, 2) key metrics that you will measure, and 3) a timeline.

8. Implement the plan. Adjust the plan along the way and record the changes so that a process becomes clear.

9. Measure the outcomes and communicate the progress. The culture of any organization, family or group relies on clear communication. Tell your plan to someone who will hold you accountable to it.

Executing this strategy closes the gap between a desired solution and a current situation in a straight forward way. For a personal issue this promotes an assessment of all viable options in an objective manner. For teams, this allows for everyone to weigh in with opinions and for everyone to own the outcome. Start now!

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Fundraising Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.