365 Ways to Get Results: Day #57- Rid Your Fears Before It Costs You Dearly
Fear. It cripples communication. It manipulates relationships. It halts progress. It stifles frank feedback. It turns otherwise kind and gentle people into angry souls. It impedes forward movement within organizations. It is the single greatest issue that keeps people from what they truly want – loving relationships, achievement, peace, a sense of belonging, financial success and a sense of purpose.
Fear is the reason otherwise intelligent individuals hear constructive criticism and feel threatened. Fear transforms well healed organizations into cultures that breed passive aggressiveness, bureaucracy, and cynicism. Fear prods people who want the richness of intimacy to detach in exchange for distanced mediocrity. It triggers people to hold onto ailments, a tired opinion, complaints and the past as opposed to letting go for new opportunities.
Most people fear three basic things in life: pain, death and abandonment. Most of the reactive bad behavior in the world is a result of the fear of abandonment. It manifests itself in a feeling of rejection and not fitting in. It reveals anger and detachment when control is lost. It is why some people enable others, stay in bad relationships, and reject change. Many times your fear is not reality.
To rid yourself of fears – start by understanding them before you react badly. Most fears are really an anxiety of a perceived fear. Comprehensively map out your fears (and the fears behind the fears.) Do you fear disappointing others? If you disappointed someone, how would they perceive you? Do you fear being overwhelmed? If you became overwhelmed what would happen next? Do you fear public speaking? What would happen if you gave a speech that people didn’t like?
Your fears will lose power by acknowledging them because then they no longer seem like an outside influence – but an internal part of you. And you will realize your fears are unlikely to occur anyway. They are just a protection mechanism – you manifesting anxiety to protect yourself from a perceived fear.
You can rationalize through fear issues by way of internal dialogue. Ask yourself, what is the actual chance that your fear will happen? What percentage of the time is that likely to occur? How likely is it that you will disappoint someone? What is the likelihood that you will give a bad speech if you are prepared? The percentage of likelihood is generally very low.
Discuss your realization with others. This will further imbed what you are learning in your mind.
Don’t let fear cripple your goals. Hold yourself accountable to a friend for your progress on your fears. Watch how it frees you to enjoy new opportunities. Start now!
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em>Mary Lee Gannon is the president of StartingOverNow.com – Leading Productivity Solutions for People and Organizations. With more than 16 years of experience as a CEO of organizations with up to $26 million in assets, Mary Lee consults with businesses on strategy. She is a graduate of The Duquesne University Professional Coaching Program and an alumnus of the 2010 Harvard Medical School and McLean Hospital Coaching in Medicine & Leadership Conference. Her personal urnaround came as a stay-at-home mother with four children under seven-years-old who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where she earned success to support her family. Services include: Workshops, Meeting Facilitation, Coaching, Webinars, Speaking and Management Consulting. Areas of Specialty: Strategic Planning / Board Development / Healthcare / Public Relations / Goal Setting / Meeting Facilitation / Training / Leadership / Time Management / Life/Career Transition. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.