Day #35 – Don’t Let Go of the Handle Bars, Get Off the Bike

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business coaching, choosing the right activities, don't be mediocre, executive coaching, executive coaching for teaching compassion, focus on your strengths, how not to fail, how to become an expert, how to increase productivity, How to Succeed, Mary Lee Gannon, Overcoming Adversity, overcoming challenges, Pittsburgh

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #35 – Don’t Let Go of the Handle Bars, Get Off the Bike

When I was young I was never the most coordinated kid in the neighborhood. My friends could skip two ropes at a time, do splits, ride a bike with no hands, and touch their palms to the ground when I couldn’t even touch my toes. That was ok with me because I was a fast swimmer – an activity that required discipline, endurance and strength all of which I could build with practice. No matter how many times I tried to touch my toes I never got better at it. But if I practiced swimming, I improved. I chose the stroke nobody wanted to do because I stood a better chance of winning. I was eventually voted captain of the team and a leader at butterfly.

The truth is that some of my friends on the swim team never really improved at the pace of others no matter how much they practiced the strokes. This was hard for many of their parents to realize. For some kids it was more rewarding to practice the agility activities of gymnastics, cheerleading, and dancing. For others it was more gratifying to excel at debate, chess or analytical problem solving.

The lesson in all of this is to focus on your strengths and chose activities where you can play to your strengths. If you are going to take risks, take them in an area where you are already a star. What’s the worst that can happen? You fail? Failure holds lessons. Fail early and start something new by applying your strengths with what you have learned. Why work on the things at which you can only achieve mediocrity? If you get better at them you will only be a little better than mediocre. If you focus on things at which you truly excel, you will lead and shine.

If you can’t become an expert at what you are doing, switch to something at which you can apply your strengths. If you don’t know what your strengths are, start by making a list of all the things you enjoyed as a child. Then add what you would do if you had four hours to yourself and how you dealt with the most difficult challenge in your life.

So don’t let go of the handle bars if you are not a strong cycler. Get off the bike and onto something better. Start now!

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Manage Your Emotions as if You Were on the President’s Executive Team

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build rapport, building trust and respect, communication styles, how to increase productivity, how to keep your cool, How to lead, How to Lead a Productive Team, Seven steps that will lead others to follow you

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #33 – Manage Your Emotions as if You Were on the President’s Executive Team

Your effectiveness as a leader is based on your ability to earn other people’s trust and respect. It doesn’t matter if you are leading a large discussion, a sales presentation or a small group. It matters not if the people are family, work colleagues, customers, strangers or volunteers. It is inconsequential if the topic of discussion is serious or light in nature. If people do not look up to you for authority, good judgment and stability it will be more difficult to engage them to act thus making it unlikely that they will follow you, buy your product or service, favor your opinion, take steps to advance your vision or just want to be around you.

So how do you influence people’s trust and respect? It’s simple. Understand that trust and respect are earned.

Seven Steps that will Lead Others to Follow You

1. Always keep your cool. Pause if you need to. But do NOT react emotionally. People will tune you out – sometimes forever – once you have lost your cool in front of them.
2. Recognize how you communicate. Is your style dominant or influential? Are you highly structured and steady or compliant and procedural. Whichever it is, learn to analyze the personality types that are not your own and how best to identify what the other person needs in order to feel safe. Clicking with them won’t come naturally so you have to practice how to approach them by understanding their needs.
3. Build rapport by listening at the deepest level. Envision a large piece of masking tape over your mouth. Listen. Just listen and try to understand what they fear.
4. Demonstrate curiosity and compassion. Ask thoughtful questions that begin with anything but “why.”
5. Sincerely affirm that you understand their perspective. Show that you have shared a similar perspective in the past. Equate their feelings to something personal in your life.
6. Explain the facts that caused you to take your position. Give anecdotal examples of how you benefited from changing your position on something in the past.
7. Clearly define what’s changed in your actions after gaining this wisdom. Describe the benefit of having taken an “about-face” on an issue. Define how considering another perspective made a difference.

If you follow these simple steps you will find that you are infinitely more effective. Start now!

Receive these 365 Ways to Start Over updates when they are released by clicking the “Sign me up!” button on the right of this page. Or subscibe to the RSS Feed on the “Posts” button on the top right of this page.

Get Mary Lee’s article Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken.

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Fundraising Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Productivity Tip #1

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Be accountable, how to increase productivity, productivity

Productivity Tip #1 – Be accountable to someone. If you designate someone to report your prgoress to, you will not want to let him/her down. It may be a co-worker, manager or friend. How will you measure your progress?

Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – a full service executive coaching, training and consulting firm that provides turnaround strategies for people and organizations by improving team performance, executive leadership skills, board performance, planning and project execution. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked out of that to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores and at with online book sellers. For more free tips on productivity visit www.StartingOverNow.com

Be Yourself, Everybody Else is Already Taken – (How to Get What You Want)

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building compassion, career advice expert, Career Change, compay cultural turnaround, corporate accountability, corporate leadership, corporate values, Cultural change, eliminating oppositions, executive coaching, executive coaching for difficult situations, executive coaching for teaching compassion, how to get unstuck, how to get what you want, how to increase productivity, Mary Lee Gannon, overcoming challenges, starting over, starting over now

One can only imagine how genuine these words felt to Oscar Wilde when he penned the expression, “Be Yourself, Everybody Else is Already Taken.” I wasn’t even sure myself until I stumbled upon the quote, was moved by its honest humor and researched the Irish writer’s background to understand what he meant. Wilde was an intelligent, once privileged and highly educated playwright who suffered greatly for opinions and choices that were outside of London society, eventually leading to his imprisonment, poverty and an early death.

No one strives to live a life in exile. Adversity comes at us every day in rapid fire as we dodge and take shelter from its surge. How we handle adversity evolves in many forms. We start by avoiding with denial. Then we survive just to get by often burying ourselves in long hours, rejection, backstabbing or drudgery. We cope sometimes with useful mechanisms such as exercise and communication and sometimes with the negative influences of the vices. We manage by setting goals to be productive but still are void of satisfaction. And eventually, we hope to achieve the ability to elevate ourselves to true contentment and do the same for others. But how we get there remains the dilemma that can keep us imprisoned from all that we desire – peace and fulfillment.

The formula for this is very simple: First, you want to identify what is the thing that if accomplished would bring you the most fulfillment in life. Second, you want to eliminate the single biggest thing that stands in its way. This isn’t as easy. The challenge of eliminating your greatest oppositions has been at the root of self-help books and therapists’ work for centuries.

How to Get What You Want

1. Make an “Area of Importance List.” Write down every area of your life that is important to you. This may include friends, sports, achievement, community service, work, family, etc.

2. Set two or more “Targets” for each Area of Importance. Identify two to three things you’d like to accomplish for each of the areas identified.

3. Identify the “Barriers” for each Target. Barriers could be a feeling or a tangible obstructer ie: don’t have the confidence or don’t have the needed education. Spend thoughtful time on this list as this is what is keeping you from what you want.

4. For each Area of Importance, select the one “Key Barrier.” Which area, if addressed has the greatest potential of helping you the most to reach fulfillment?

5. Prioritize what “Key Target” (from #2) is most important to your fulfillment. This is the one thing that were it to occur, you’d never again feel as if you were out of alignment with yourself or what you want.

6. Prioritize what “Key Barrier” is keeping you from your “Key Target.” This one barrier is so vast and so overwhelming that just the thought of it lapses you back into a state where you can’t even imagine fulfillment coming to life. This barrier obstructs your vision of a life of peace and harmony with yourself and all that is around you.

7. “Clear the Key Barrier.” This is the most difficult part of the exercise. This barrier has been part of you for so long that you are comfortable having it around even though you know it hinders your happiness. You don’t know how to let it go because you are not sure what to replace it with nor are you comfortable with the sustainability of replacing it with anything.

In my years of executive coaching I have seen these barriers effect corporate culture, team synergy, productivity and personal happiness for dozens of very well educated and accomplished professionals. What I will tell you is that the people who are able to win the battle with their “Key Barrier” and get it out of the way do it with two key strategies: 1) They become curious about the “Key Barrier” and 2) They become compassionate to it.

They understand that this “Key Barrier” is part of them and will likely re-surface intermittently for the rest of their lives. They accept that. They recognize when the “Key Barrier” is rearing its head earlier in various scenarios than they used to. And they know what to do with it.

From a curious perspective, they ask themselves what is going on in their body and their emotions when they start to notice the “Key Barrier.” What is that barrier trying to protect you from? Ask it. Why is it showing up now? What is the worst that could happen? What would happen if it were to take a back seat for today?

From a compassionate perspective, they embrace that the barrier is trying to protect them from something – harm?, hurt?, pain?, loss?, disappointment? They notice how they feel about the part of them that is only trying to protect them. It helps them to suffer less resistance to it – be less shut down. They want to nurture it and assure it that the worst that could happen is not likely. They invite it to experience joy.

Be curious and compassionate about your “Key Barriers.” They’re part of you. This way you will get back to being yourself. After all, everybody else is already taken. Start now!

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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – a full service executive coaching, training and consulting firm that provides turnaround strategies for people and organizations by improving team performance, executive leadership skills, board performance, planning and project execution. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked out of that to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores, on Amazon or on her web site. Visit Mary Lee’s website at www.StartingOverNow.com or Email Mary Lee at marylee@startingovernow.com.

Productivity – Don’t Manage People, Encourage Their Insight!

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encouraging employees, Encouraing employees, how to be more productive, how to give feedback, how to increase productivity, how to reward employees, listening to employees

Productivity. Managers are expected to manage their staff for optimal productivity. In some industries that means staff leveling or sending hourly employees home if the workload is slow that day. In some industries that means constantly measuring the output against the costs – sometimes to the hour. And in some industries it means doing a quarterly analysis on profit and if the numbers are not on a positive upwards trend, it may mean a reduction if force is inevitable.

How did we get to such a model? In the early 1900s – the Industrialist Era, people were paid for their physical labor and measured against how fast they could produce. Shifts were twelve hours, labor laws were nearly non-existent and a handful of people became millionaires off the labors of thousands. With the advent of electricity and machinery by the mid-twentieth century much of the work was shifting to more process and systematic based work as opposed to hard labor. Tasks were repetitive in nature: data entry, machine operation, office work. Managers at this time managed process. As time went on there were many more “requirements” to each step in the process, some forced on workers by governmental oversight, some were industry standards and some of the mandates were company based. As long as workers followed the steps laid out by the manager, they were productive.

In the recent past much of what used to be processed based has either been computerized or out-sourced to the lowest-cost country. By 2005, 40 percent of employees were considered to be knowledge workers. That number jumps to 100 percent for mid-level managers and higher. The manager of today is being paid to think and motivate. Yet many management models are still based in the process era. Couple this with the work style difference among the generations and you may find that instead of a productive workforce, you have cynicism and frustration.

If you want to transform people’s performance, especially the worker of today who has seen what happens to people who give their life to a company and are laid off when their pay reaches a certain level, you have to understand them as knowledge workers: give them the tools they need to do the job, afford them opportunities to grow professionally have fun and give them lots of feedback. Encourage insight.

Four Steps to Encourage Insight:

1.) Create a No-Blame Environment. Your work culture should be a safe place – where people are not afraid to share what they are thinking and admit mistakes. If a mistake has been made, the goal is how to make it right and what process change needs to occur so as to not repeat the mistake again. Mistakes are blessings. Reward people for bringing them out in the open.

2.) Ask questions that make people reflect. Whether an error has been made or an achievement has been accomplished, ask these questions to teach employees how to grow their insight capabilities:
1) What did you do well and what did you discover about yourself as a result?
2) What are the highlights and what did you learn?
3) (If something went well) How can we do more of this?
4) What impact do you think this had on (specific) others?
5) What would you change and how?
6) What is your goal for this project? How will this tactic meet that goal?

3.) Listen. Listen for what is going on with the other person. Are they conflicted? Confused? Considerate? Focused? How can you help them see how their behavior is affecting the project? Affecting other people? When a co-worker is telling you what they are doing, listen to see how you can help and ask them, “How can I help you?” Listen to understand the problem from an outside perspective and then ask them to tell you the problem from another person’s perspective.

4.) Expect positive change and highlight it every time you see it occur. Give specific positive feedback. At your meetings and face to face encounters point out others accomplishments and thank them. Be specific in your praise. Saying, “You’re doing a good job” is not enough.

Leaders listen for potential. If you are not measuring and monitoring how people are growing professionally, you may easily get trapped in the maze of focusing on their problems and the problems with the project. The people around you will show positive change when you expect it from them. To help people develop insight and grow, encourage them to think less and reflect more. Start now!

Get Mary Lee’s free tip sheets on “Feel the Fear – How to Build Self Confidence” and “Replace the Mad Hatter with Your Personal Plan” at http://www.startingovernow.com/Articles-and-Tip-Sheets.html.

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Mary Lee Gannon is a cultural turnaround and leadership expert who went from being a stay-at-home mother with four children to a difficult marriage, divorce, homelessness, and welfare to CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available on Amazon.com and details how she went from an earning capacity of $27,000 annually to president and CEO within just a few years. Visit her Web site at www.StartingOverNow.com

How to Increase Productivity

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better parenting, better work culture, changing behavior for better leadership, help employees exceed their goal, how to increase productivity, leadership and self deception, leadership behaviors, solution to delusion, start all over, tips for starting over with better leadership

We wonder why the employees we manage or the children we parent or the people we love do not seem to listen or care about what we have to say. The reason is actually very easy to understand.

The Delusion

Often we operate in a delusion. We do not prioritize caring about people as much as we care about getting what we want. Then we justify our own negative behavior toward them by viewing them almost as inanimate objects – as if we HAVE to treat them impersonally because they deserve it. Does this make them want to perform better for us the way inspired and engaged people do? No.

The Delusion and Your Children

Think about it – You want your teenage child, whose grades are less than adequate, to do his homework so you tell him he better do it or he is going to get bad grades, not get into a good college and will not be a success. Makes sense, right? Makes sense to you but not to him. He hears you say, “You get bad grades, will never go to a good college and will end up a loser.” Ugh! Do you think he cares what you think when you think he is a loser? Of course not. So he tunes you out for being overbearing, negative, and critical. He then under-performs to control the situation and get back at you. And subsequently do you end up feeling overbearing, negative, critical not to mention ineffective? Yep. So consequentially he is justified in his feelings about you and you are justified in your feelings about where he is going to end up. Everyone is living a delusion because of course he could do his homework and go to a good school and be a success. And of course your leading qualities are not to be overbearing, negative and critical. You can only control your role in any delusion.

Could it be that as parents sometimes we want our children to perform well so that we can feel good about it? As a manager do we sometimes want our employees to perform well so that we will look good? In relationships do we sometimes want or loved ones to make us feel loved and appreciated so that we are happy? Yes. That is human nature. So how do we get there? By caring about them as people first and ourselves second. That is what makes us truly human – to care about others in a way we would never care about an object – to care about them before ourselves. So when we do not see people as people but mere objects for our own good, we have betrayed ourselves.

You might say to your son, “I love you and want to help you feel good about doing your homework. Can I help you organize your homework or get some special tools to help you?” He’ll of course look at you as if you have three heads. You’ll continue, “You said that you like business. I’d like for us to visit a friend of mine who is an investment advisor together so that you can ask him questions about what he does. I think it might be really interesting for both of us.” At this point he’ll be waiting for the catch. “How about next Monday after school? I’ll leave work early.”

The Delusion and Your Employees

Think about how this plays out in work. You think you care about your employees or your colleagues. You don’t micromanage them nor are you demanding. You give them little gifts at holidays. You occasionally ask them about their children. Yet they don’t seem to care about the company or worse yet helping you to look good. They don’t really have your back. Your Delusion – So therefore they are lazy and ungrateful and don’t deserve for you to provide opportunities for them to learn and grow.

Your colleagues notice that all you seem to focus on is your work. You don’t even know the names of some of their spouses and you never talk about helping them learn anything new. And you don’t keep them informed on what the vision is for their area. Their Delusion – Therefore you are a work-a-holic with no life who doesn’t care about them or whether or not they move up in the company so why should they work hard for you?

What the Delusion Costs You

End Result – As a manager your area is not as productive as it needs to be. As employees, their work is unfulfilling. This leads to high attrition, employee disengagement and low productivity. All of these boil down to lost money and purpose for all involved – the business looses money and the manager and the employees don’t advance.

The Solution to Delusion

Stop betraying yourself by seeing those around you as a means to your own fulfillment. I am a fan of visualization techniques. Look hard at the faces of the people close to you in your office, your close relationships and your life and ask yourself if you value them as a person or as an inanimate object. Are you living a delusion of self-betrayal by detaching from then because you perceive they don’t deserve better? And has the repetitive nature of your choices brought any better engagement from your staff, colleagues and loved ones? Try seeing the people you lead and care about as small children who need guidance. Envision what they would look like as a seven-year-old. Every time you interact with the people close to you, envision them as children who need a helping hand, who need guidance, who need love. Then watch them change their behavior. Start now!

Follow Mary Lee’s tips on Twitter at StartingOverNow.

Get her free tip sheets on “Change – Here’s How!” and “Goal Setting for a Quick Turnaround” at http://www.startingovernow.com/Articles-and-Tip-Sheets.html.

Mary Lee Gannon is a cultural turnaround and leadership expert who went from being a stay-at-home mother with four children to a difficult marriage, divorce, homelessness, and welfare to CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available on Amazon.com and details how she went from an earning capacity of $27,000 annually to president and CEO within just a few years. Visit her Web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.