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Day #6 – What Is the Box of Crayons in Your Life?

01 Tuesday Feb 2011

Posted by startingovernow in Building Relationships, Don't be Afraid, Getting Unstuck, How to Build Confidence, Leadership, Overcoming Adversity, Productivity

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Anxiety about starting over, building compassion, crayons and life, executive coaching for difficult situations, finding my purpose, how to be happy, How to Build Confidence, how to get unstuck, how to get what you want, life purpose, Mary Lee Gannon, starting over, starting over now

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #6 – What Is the Box of Crayons in Your Life?

Remember when you were little and summer was coming to a close, swimming pools were shutting down and everyone was getting ready to go back to school? You were sad to say goodbye to your pool friends, melancholy about losing the liberty of playing in nearby parks and hanging out on neighbor’s porches, and contemplative as you listened to crickets usher in the fall. What would school be like this year? Who would you sit next to at lunch? Who would be your homeroom teacher? Lots of new things were on the horizon. But was there anything about going back to school that was as awesome as a brand new box of Crayola Crayons?

Remember the big box with the sharpener on the back? Remember the smell when you opened it? Remember how cool it was to organize them by color or to just spill them in a vibrant waterfall over the table? Remember how your favorite colors always got used up first: Aquamarine, Burnt Orange, Caribbean Green, Canary, Chestnut, Goldenrod, Mountain Meadow, Mulberry, Sepia, Sky Blue, Forest Green.

Crayons invite you through a door of promise. They call you to create a canvas of imagination by giving you the soft pliable touch of an art instrument coupled with a palate of freedom. They wave you to open ended possibilities in a sea of soft hues.

What is the box of crayons in your life? What excites you to the point that you shed the melancholy of the past and reach for the opportunities to shade your world a new tone? Maybe you don’t yet know what your masterpiece will look like. Maybe you try a few colors and switch to a few more. Ever wonder why nobody invented an eraser for the end of crayons? Practicing your masterpiece is part of getting it right. There’s a lot of paper in the world. You just start over.

Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – a full service executive coaching, training and consulting firm that provides productivity strategies for people and organizations by improving team performance, executive leadership skills, board performance, planning and project execution. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day #3 – Replace Head Trash with Positive Affirmations

29 Saturday Jan 2011

Posted by startingovernow in Uncategorized

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breaking bad habbits, do things differently, executive coaching, executive coaching for difficult situations, executive coaching for teaching compassion, How to Build Confidence, how to get unstuck, how to make better decisions, Mary Lee Gannon, positive affirmations, replace head trash, starting over

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #3 – Replace Head Trash with Positive Affirmations

I am a firm believer in “You are what you attract.” If you find that you continue to attract the same type of negative friends, unfulfilling relationships, drama, bad luck, negative energy, unrewarding career, bad health, poor physical image, etc, then I bet you are spending a lot of time telling yourself that you do. I have seen this over and over in many of my clients.

If you want to be thin and look in the mirror and all you see if flab then you will continue to be flabby. If you want to attract a loving relationship and you keep reminding yourself that all the good ones are taken, they will be – by somebody else. If you feel as if the dark cloud of bad luck has taken permanent stake over your head then Murphy’s Law will continue to rain down on you.

This line of thinking becomes habit quickly. The good news is that it can be broken and quickly by replacing the negative head trash with positive affirmations. Break the cycle before it breaks you. How long can you afford not to?

Affirmations are not in the future tense such as “I will be thin.” They are in the present tense as in “I am thin!”

Replace Head Trash with Your Own Personal Affirmation List

1. Make a list of everything you want to happen in your life. ie: Find a loving relationship, get a new job, make new friends, stop being angry, react better in a crisis, etc. Be specific. Precede every statement with “I am” of “I have.” ie: I am in a job that allows me to grow my creative talents. I am in love with a man who loves and respects me.

2. Make a list of every negative thing you want to stop doing and next to it write down what positive thing you are doing when you are doing the opposite. ie: I want to stop yelling at my children – I am living in harmony with my children in an environment of trust and respect. I want to stop feeling alone and sad all the time – I have trusted relationships with people who share my values and I enjoy.

3. Combine the list from #1. with the positive statements from #2.

4. Type up your list in an easy to read format and read it twice a day. Place it where you will see it in the morning and in the evening. Keep the list in your desk for when you are feeling particularly stressed to remind yourself of your new vision before the old head trash comes flooding back. Keep it in your car and in your purse. You may get creative with your list and cut out pictures or sketch images or attach colors to go with each affirmation. The important thing is to read it as much as possible.

5. If there is a particular area of your life where you want to focus such as health, relationships, new career, then write a list of 10 affirmations for that specific area. ie: I am thin. I am eating healthy foods. I am exercising every day. I am spending time with other health conscious people. I am reading health conscious materials. etc.

In have watched people who regularly use positive affirmations go from being single to finding the love of their life, from overweight to healthy and active, from a dead end job to an open ended career, from debt to a financial plan, from fatigue to high energy.

On this page in the right margin you will find “Amazing Affirmations” – a presentation I created of affirming statements that can get you started. Many of my clients use this everyday to help them onto a new path. Create positive affirmations, read them everyday and watch what happens! Start now.

Get the articles “Get Unstuck” and ‘Don’t Blow Your Cool” at Articles – Tip Sheets

Follow Mary Lee Gannon on Facebook via her name or on Twitter at StartingOverNow.

Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching, training and consulting firm that provides productivity strategies for people and organizations by improving executive leadership skills, team performance, board performance, planning and project execution. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from here within a short time she worked out of that to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

Day #2 – Being Treated Unfairly? Assume Nothing.

28 Friday Jan 2011

Posted by startingovernow in Building Relationships, How to Build Confidence, Leadership, Leading meetings, Overcoming Adversity, Productivity, Uncategorized

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being happy, being proactive, being treated fairly, executive coaching, executive coaching for difficult situations, executive coaching for teaching compassion, how to be happy, How to Build Confidence, how to get unstuck, how to get what you want, how to have a positive attitude, Mary Lee Gannon

365 Ways to Start Over: Day #2 – Being Treated Unfairly? Assume Nothing.

Ever find that you are being treated unfairly? My question is this: Are you REALLY being treated unfairly or is that your assumption? Our perception is ours to own but may not be reality. To focus on it pushes us to perseverate on feeling disempowered instead of opening our minds to how we may be proactive.

When Life Doesn’t Seem Fair:

1. Use only “I” statements and not “he” or “she” statements to describe what is going on. “I am noticing that this person is ignoring me. I wonder what her perception is of me. I wonder what I could have done to make her assume that. I wonder what I can do now to alter that perception.” NOT: “He never treats me fairly. He has favorites and they always get all the perks. He is overrated.”

2. Be “curious” and “compassionate” to the other individual. What is she afraid of that prompts her to act this way? If she fears that I am not respecting her and this makes her look incompetent then maybe I can validate her with a genuine compliment. If he fears that I am not doing my job and that reflects poorly on him then maybe I need to inform him of the measurable accomplishments I have contributed to the team and ask what else I can do to help.

3. Envision the other party as a seven-year-old child. What would you do differently if this person who has been treating you unfairly was a child? This person may be thinking like a child if he is behaving badly toward you. What can you do to calm her inner child?

Make no assumptions about what others think. Indeed, you may be being treated unfairly, but to focus on what others think renders you powerless. Most likely you will be too focused on feeling personally assaulted which leaves you feeling victimized. You can only control what you think. Concentrate on what pro-active measures you can take to bring peace to the situation for yourself and the other party.

Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – a full service executive coaching, training and consulting firm that provides productivity strategies for people and organizations by improving team performance, executive leadership skills, board performance, planning and project execution. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from here within a short time she worked out of that to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at http://www.StartingOverNow.com.

Be Yourself, Everybody Else is Already Taken – (How to Get What You Want)

10 Sunday Oct 2010

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building compassion, career advice expert, Career Change, compay cultural turnaround, corporate accountability, corporate leadership, corporate values, Cultural change, eliminating oppositions, executive coaching, executive coaching for difficult situations, executive coaching for teaching compassion, how to get unstuck, how to get what you want, how to increase productivity, Mary Lee Gannon, overcoming challenges, starting over, starting over now

One can only imagine how genuine these words felt to Oscar Wilde when he penned the expression, “Be Yourself, Everybody Else is Already Taken.” I wasn’t even sure myself until I stumbled upon the quote, was moved by its honest humor and researched the Irish writer’s background to understand what he meant. Wilde was an intelligent, once privileged and highly educated playwright who suffered greatly for opinions and choices that were outside of London society, eventually leading to his imprisonment, poverty and an early death.

No one strives to live a life in exile. Adversity comes at us every day in rapid fire as we dodge and take shelter from its surge. How we handle adversity evolves in many forms. We start by avoiding with denial. Then we survive just to get by often burying ourselves in long hours, rejection, backstabbing or drudgery. We cope sometimes with useful mechanisms such as exercise and communication and sometimes with the negative influences of the vices. We manage by setting goals to be productive but still are void of satisfaction. And eventually, we hope to achieve the ability to elevate ourselves to true contentment and do the same for others. But how we get there remains the dilemma that can keep us imprisoned from all that we desire – peace and fulfillment.

The formula for this is very simple: First, you want to identify what is the thing that if accomplished would bring you the most fulfillment in life. Second, you want to eliminate the single biggest thing that stands in its way. This isn’t as easy. The challenge of eliminating your greatest oppositions has been at the root of self-help books and therapists’ work for centuries.

How to Get What You Want

1. Make an “Area of Importance List.” Write down every area of your life that is important to you. This may include friends, sports, achievement, community service, work, family, etc.

2. Set two or more “Targets” for each Area of Importance. Identify two to three things you’d like to accomplish for each of the areas identified.

3. Identify the “Barriers” for each Target. Barriers could be a feeling or a tangible obstructer ie: don’t have the confidence or don’t have the needed education. Spend thoughtful time on this list as this is what is keeping you from what you want.

4. For each Area of Importance, select the one “Key Barrier.” Which area, if addressed has the greatest potential of helping you the most to reach fulfillment?

5. Prioritize what “Key Target” (from #2) is most important to your fulfillment. This is the one thing that were it to occur, you’d never again feel as if you were out of alignment with yourself or what you want.

6. Prioritize what “Key Barrier” is keeping you from your “Key Target.” This one barrier is so vast and so overwhelming that just the thought of it lapses you back into a state where you can’t even imagine fulfillment coming to life. This barrier obstructs your vision of a life of peace and harmony with yourself and all that is around you.

7. “Clear the Key Barrier.” This is the most difficult part of the exercise. This barrier has been part of you for so long that you are comfortable having it around even though you know it hinders your happiness. You don’t know how to let it go because you are not sure what to replace it with nor are you comfortable with the sustainability of replacing it with anything.

In my years of executive coaching I have seen these barriers effect corporate culture, team synergy, productivity and personal happiness for dozens of very well educated and accomplished professionals. What I will tell you is that the people who are able to win the battle with their “Key Barrier” and get it out of the way do it with two key strategies: 1) They become curious about the “Key Barrier” and 2) They become compassionate to it.

They understand that this “Key Barrier” is part of them and will likely re-surface intermittently for the rest of their lives. They accept that. They recognize when the “Key Barrier” is rearing its head earlier in various scenarios than they used to. And they know what to do with it.

From a curious perspective, they ask themselves what is going on in their body and their emotions when they start to notice the “Key Barrier.” What is that barrier trying to protect you from? Ask it. Why is it showing up now? What is the worst that could happen? What would happen if it were to take a back seat for today?

From a compassionate perspective, they embrace that the barrier is trying to protect them from something – harm?, hurt?, pain?, loss?, disappointment? They notice how they feel about the part of them that is only trying to protect them. It helps them to suffer less resistance to it – be less shut down. They want to nurture it and assure it that the worst that could happen is not likely. They invite it to experience joy.

Be curious and compassionate about your “Key Barriers.” They’re part of you. This way you will get back to being yourself. After all, everybody else is already taken. Start now!

Sign up for Mary Lee’s free Executive Coaching e-newsletter at info@startingovernow.com.

Get Mary Lee’s free tip sheets on “Get ‘Unstuck!’” and “Change – Here’s How!” at http://www.startingovernow.com/Articles-and-Tip-Sheets.html.

Email this information to a friend. Follow Mary Lee’s tips on Twitter at StartingOverNow.

Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – a full service executive coaching, training and consulting firm that provides turnaround strategies for people and organizations by improving team performance, executive leadership skills, board performance, planning and project execution. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked out of that to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores, on Amazon or on her web site. Visit Mary Lee’s website at www.StartingOverNow.com or Email Mary Lee at marylee@startingovernow.com.

Preoccupy Your Gremlin and Get “Unstuck”

26 Monday Apr 2010

Posted by startingovernow in Career Change, Leadership, Overcoming Adversity

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getting baggage out of the way, how to get unstuck, how to move forward, letting go

Most people have hopes and dreams. Most people understand what it will take to get to those dreams. And most people at some point in their lives accept that they probably won’t get there and give up hope. Why? Because they can’t seem to get the issues that haunt them out of the way. The pain of first uncovering the demons, facing them and then knowing how to tame them seems impossible. But there is a way.

Throughout our lives we begin to notice that certain negative behaviors tend to repeat themselves – career choices that aren’t fulfilling, bad choices in romance, reactive and defensive behavior when being criticized, lack of solid friendships, disinterest in things that should matter. We notice a pattern in how people describe us: controlling, stubborn, under-performing, difficult, cold, inconsiderate, self-absorbed, irresponsible. Nobody grows up and wants to become these things. And nobody really wants to admit that they act this way. So we justify our behavior as simply other people’s misinterpretations, insensitivity or jealousy. But the truth is that when enough people repeatedly give us the same feedback whether it be direct or indirect, we have to take a look at our own behavior. It can’t always be someone else’s interpretation.

Most people who are at a juncture in their lives where they want to move forward but aren’t able to don’t understand why they just can’t seem to do what needs to be done. Certain emotions when conjured up bring about a habitual reaction that may be rooted in the past. I’ve coached many people with the same issue from CEOs to people in transition. Intellectually they know pretty well what they need to do. They can articulate fairly clearly their “to-do” list and yet the important things don’t seem to get “to-done.”

Sometimes the lack of productiveness is because the “to-do” list is out of alignment with their values and focusing on the end result might bring them closer to their values as opposed to the tasks to get there. Sometimes once they define their values they see that what they thought they needed to focus on is not going to bring them closer to fulfillment after all and that they begin to re-examine their goals. You can define and refine your values with an exercise on my website at http://www.startingovernow.com/Articles/Values-How_to_Define_Your_Values_and_Live_Fulfilled.html.

Oftentimes, however, there is a voice in just about everybody’s head that is repeating a limiting conviction whereby you practice failure in your mind before it even happens. “You’re too old.” “You’re too young.” “You don’t have enough experience.” “You have too much experience.” “You’re not attractive.” “Don’t fall in love – you always get hurt.” “Don’t try that, it’s too risky and you will fail just like last time.” “You’ll never be able to do that.” “Nobody works hard anymore.” “I’m picky because I deserve better.” An undetected and reconciled gremlin can manifest itself in physical symptoms such as asthma, ulcers, headaches, backaches, neuroses and more.

What is the gremlin in your head telling you? How does it inhibit your ability to get what you want? Are you willing to stare it in the face? What does it look like? Draw it on paper. Hang it where you can see it so that you may get comfortable with it. You can’t expect to rid your life of your gremlin entirely. It is too comfortable with you and you with it. But if you can give it something to do, you might just be able to move around it in a positive direction while it’s pre-occupied.

The Preoccupying Your Gremlin Exercise

The next time you have a goal in mind and your gremlin peppers you with self-doubt notice that it’s there and ask it to sit with you or a moment. Noticing it is the first step to disarming it. In this moment you are no longer ensnarled with your gremlin. You are its spectator. Look it in the face. Take a deep breath – all the way to your stomach. Slowly exhale from your stomach. Fear is your gremlin’s primary tool. In his book “Taming Your Gremlin” Rick Carson reminds us that most people’s biggest fears are around abandonment, pain and death. Your gremlin will tell you that tensing up against these fears will ease the discomfort when in fact all that does is initiate the discomfort and limit the possibility for intimacy.

What is your gremlin doing as you are maintaining control of your goals? In another article I suggest that if it is really unwieldy give it a virtual drink of something that will pacify it – top shelf whisky, chamomile tea. Ask yourself during this exercise, “Regarding my goal, what is the consequence of doing nothing.”

If you make habit of noticing your gremlin and co-existing with it as a disciplined creature you will find that you are able to direct it to keep busy while you get what you want. Who would have thought?

The Zen Theory of Change is: I free myself not by trying to be free, but by simply noticing how I am imprisoning myself in the very moment I am imprisoning myself. Start now!

Sign up for Mary Lee’s free e-newsletter with tips on Big Picture Thinking with You at Your Highest Potential – Accountability with a Forward Focus by putting “subscribe” in an email to info@startingovernow.com.

Get Mary Lee’s free tip sheets on “Feel the Fear – How to Build Self Confidence” and “Replace the Mad Hatter with Your Personal Plan” at http://www.startingovernow.com/Articles-and-Tip-Sheets.html.

Email this information to a friend. Follow Mary Lee’s tips on Twitter at StartingOverNow.

Mary Lee Gannon is an executive coach, cultural turnaround and leadership expert who went from being a stay-at-home mother with four children to a difficult marriage, divorce, homelessness, and welfare to CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available on Amazon.com and details how she went from welfare to president and CEO within just a few years. Visit her Web site at www.StartingOverNow.com

Free Tools to Help You Decide What to Be When You Grow Up

28 Sunday Feb 2010

Posted by startingovernow in Career Change, How to Build Confidence, Leadership, Overcoming Adversity

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career tests, how to get unstuck, Mary Lee Gannon, Play to Your Strengths, the right career for me, what are my strengths, what is my work style

I can’t tell you how many people I meet who are not sure they have met their true calling. I see this in people from all walks of life – from people in transition all the way to people at the executive level. After teaching, training and coaching hundreds of people over the years I have seen a common thread. People who have not matched their character and professional strengths with their life’s work continue to feel unsettled and under-fulfilled.

I advise all of my clients to focus on what their life will look like not next week or next month but at the end of the journey. I have them draw a sketch on paper of what they want their life to look like in three to five years or longer – their “Success Sketch”. And I advise them to hang that where they will see it everyday. But it is hard to draw a “Success Sketch” if your mind is “stuck” on the frozen frame of today.

So how do you “unstuck” the bind of habit and reach for something new when you don’t know what to reach for? How do you create new dreams when the dream bank is coming up empty? Do something that will remove you from the everyday routine and open the door to new dreams.

There are several free online evaluation tools that can help you assess your strengths and use them as a reference in career exploration. These tools are very helpful for jumpstarting career fulfillment hope.

VIA Institute on Character – Character Survey
http://www.viacharacter.org/
The 240 question evaluation elicits your unique constellation of strengths and identifies your top 5 signature strengths – those you most frequently express. The survey takes about 30 to 45 minutes and is free. A more detailed report is available for a small fee.

LiveCareer.com – Career Test
http://www.livecareer.com/
There are a lot of advertisements throughout this free and detailed evaluation but the Occupations Fit Graph and Strengths Lists are very helpful.

CareerBuilder.com – Several Career Tests
http://www.careerpath.com/career-tests/?utm_source=cbhome&utm_medium=ardrop&utm_content=careertests
These short evaluations are free and include: Career Planner quiz, Job Satisfaction Quiz, Job Discovery Wizard and much more.

How do these evaluations help? Many ways. If your top six Character Strengths are Love of Learning, Curiosity and Interest in the World, Social Intelligent, Leadership and Zest/Enthusiasm then you are reminded that you thrive in a position where you can try new things and influence others in a group setting. Conversely, if you are in a role where you have little ability to affect change or chorale consensus on an important issue you are going to have a hard time feeling fulfilled. Then you might want to ask yourself if the role you are in is the problem or the organizational culture. You may enjoy your role more if you were in another organization that gave you more ability to self-actuate.

You may find that you are strong in the Work Style areas of Persuasiveness and Assertiveness but not in the area of being Systematic. I am not a fan of concentrating on developing your weak areas. Play to your strengths. Surround yourself with people who have your weaknesses as their strengths. Seek opportunities where you can shine as an influencer and use your assertiveness to negotiate deals that no one else can do. Start now!

Follow Mary Lee’s tips on Twitter at StartingOverNow.

Get her free tip sheets on “Surround Yourself With People Who Have Your Weaknesses as Their Strengths” and “Change – Here’s How!” at http://www.startingovernow.com/Articles-and-Tip-Sheets.html.

Mary Lee Gannon is a cultural turnaround and leadership expert who went from being a stay-at-home mother with four children to a difficult marriage, divorce, homelessness, and welfare to CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available on Amazon.com and details how she went from an earning capacity of $27,000 annually to president and CEO within just a few years. Visit her Web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.

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