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anger management, business coach, executive coach, executive leadership training, face you fears, life coach, managing anger, Mary Lee Gannon, Pittsburgh, step into your anger
365 Ways to Get Results: #60: Accept This Moment as It Is
Every moment we spend in judgment is a moment in which we are disconnected from compassion and appreciation. Accepting life as it IS is an art in itself. Accepting is not resisting, but flowing with it which sometimes takes courage.
What You Resist Persists
How true. Surely you notice that issues of concern and discord in your life continue to present themselves in the same way over and over again. The more you think about something in a certain way, the more you attract it. This is natural law.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. Most organized religions teach their followers to accept God’s will. There is a reason for that – it’s just plain foolish to believe that you can change things that are outside of your control. Yet we focus on them as if worry and anxiety will alter the outcome. Both are wasted sentiments. Life’s lessons will unfold before you if as the student you allow yourself to see past the circumstance that frustrates you and onto the opportunity that lies past it. This requires calmness and self-reflection. Life is more than solving self-created problems. How do you find time to ask the really important questions when you are focused on the small stuff?
To live in the moment you must master the art of letting go of anger – especially in a heated moment. Just be. This is a hard thing to do when a lighting of anger grips you in a flash and you feel hot and as if your nervous system is sounding sirens and flashing red lights that scream, “This isn’t fair!” The good news is that energy is palpable and your signal that it’s time to do something different. Don’t fight your anger, just observe it as it unfolds – like you watch waves rise and fall with the tide. Someone hurts you or challenges you and there is much lightening in that sky over the sea. You don’t understand it so you are afraid.
When anger is there, keep observing and listening to its sounds pierce the peace of your existence. Step into the fury of the storm as an observer not as the driver of it – don’t resist it in fear. The moment the observer enters the fury (not needing to control it), anger has already started becoming cool. You realize that the lightening may be flickering across the sky but you determine if it has heat or not. And at the moment you feel it is no longer hot, you have distanced yourself from the anger. You have let go of fear. It may be there but you feel unidentified with it. You are on a safe cliff high above where the lightning strikes the sea.
At this moment you understand that the heat is given by you; it is your identification that makes it hot, and the moment you feel it is not hot, the fear is gone, and you feel that a distance is created. In this distance lightning flashes around you, but you are not it. The identity has been broken, and the moment the identity breaks, immediately the whole hot process becomes cool. Here anger transforms into curiosity and compassion. You are neutral and much more effective.
When you are at peace in the moment there is no room for ego. Ego only brings with it hurt, hatred, jealousy and a myriad of negative emotions. The journey to accepting the moment takes practice and will be arduous. When the ego asserts itself, just observe. Don’t become angry. You are not anger. Be the observer of anger. Don’t react to the word or insult of another person, pause and respond from a point of freedom in the moment. That is grace. And it will bring you joy. Start now!
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em>Mary Lee Gannon is the president of StartingOverNow.com – Leading Productivity Solutions for People and Organizations. With more than 16 years of experience as a CEO of organizations with up to $26 million in assets, Mary Lee consults with businesses on strategy. She is a graduate of The Duquesne University Professional Coaching Program and an alumnus of the 2010 Harvard Medical School and McLean Hospital Coaching in Medicine & Leadership Conference. Her personal urnaround came as a stay-at-home mother with four children under seven-years-old who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where she earned success to support her family. Services include: Workshops, Meeting Facilitation, Coaching, Webinars, Speaking and Management Consulting. Areas of Specialty: Strategic Planning / Board Development / Healthcare / Public Relations / Goal Setting / Meeting Facilitation / Training / Leadership / Time Management / Life/Career Transition. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.
