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365 Ways to Start Over: Day #32 – You Will Go as Far as the Five People You Are Closest to
You will go as far as the five people you are closest to. It’s true. Think of the five people you spend the most time with. Are they not in about the same position in life as you? Same type of friends? Same type of neighborhood. Same socioeconomic group? Same values? Same interests?
There is nothing wrong with this if you are comfortable with where you are in life. If you want to experience something differently, do something differently. That doesn’t mean dump all of your good friends. It does mean start spending time not just with people who WANT to change, but with people who ARE where you want to be. Often people in transition lean on each other which is a great source of support that should be nurtured. However, you need to also reach out of that comfort zone if you want to live out of that comfort zone.
If you seek a richer career, spend time with people who are in one. If you seek closer friends, spend time with people who are good friends to others and to whom you will be a good friend. If you are single and prefer to be married, spend time with people who are in good marriages and observe how they approach compromise and how they listen. If you want to lose weight, spend time with people who are health conscious.
If you only spend time with and listen to people who are thinking and seeking the same thing as you, you will continue to think the same things you’ve been repeating to them ie: “If I could just stay on this diet I’d be thinner.” “If companies were only hiring, I’d get a job.” “There aren’t any good men left.”
Remember, you are what you attract. If you complain about how rotten things are, things will be rotten. If you use affirming statements in the first person such as, “I am thin.” (Not, “I will be thin.”) “I have a great job.” “I have found the love of my life.” you will start to find that which fulfills you!
Branch out of your comfort zone and create new relationships with those who you admire. It is certainly harder to do this than it is to continue to simply be with your old friends doing the same things you’ve always done. If you take the risk and explore new friendships you will be energized by the experience and inspired to try new things. It is incredibly reinforcing to continue to see examples of people who have accomplished that which you seek. So bring those people into your inner circle and be a trusting friend to them. They will in turn value your friendships and serve as a great source of support. My mother always said, “Make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.” Start now!
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Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group – an executive coaching and consulting firm that produces higher individual and organizational performance through Executive Leadership Coaching, Fundraising Coaching, Organizational Development, Board Retreats, Visioning, and Planning. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked up to the level of CEO. Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or at Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com.